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Ugandan Orphans Save Struggling White Women of Hollywood

After watching last night’s Oscars coverage, a group of Ugandan orphans have created a charity aimed at helping white actresses in Hollywood.

Named WhiWoHo, the charity hopes to raise awareness of the daily struggles faced by world famous Hollywood stars, such as Resse Whiterspoon and Patricia Arquette.

Charity founder Alisha Majwega, 9, said that watching the telecast put her own problems into stark perspective.

“I am ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of food or shelter when I see some of the richest, most celebrated actors in the world forced to repeatedly answer such boring questions about the thousands of dollars worth of clothes they’ve been given to wear.”

Mrs Majwega’s partner at WhiWoHo Kiara Ndagire, 8, said she feels incredibly inspired by Ms Witherspoon’s plight, after the Legally Blonde star made the important point that “it’s hard being a woman in Hollywood.”

In a revelation late last year that saddened many across the African continent, it was uncovered that Ms Witherspoon has been living just $80 million above the poverty line, and was at times struggling to pay for the upkeep of her three L.A. mansions on top of the ongoing costs of her million dollar ranch retreat in California.

However, some were critical of the actress’ comments with one onlooker quoted as saying, “Is Sweet Home Alabama serious?! No! It’s hard to be a woman in Saudi Arabia. It’s hard to be a woman in Somalia. But Hollywood?!”

But Ms Ndagire disagrees.

“I was proud to see #AskHerMore trend on social media last night, I really do want to know Emma Stone’s solution to ISIS, or what Julianne Moore thinks about increasing economic inequality and the future of capitalism,” said Ms Ndagire. “I mean since when did the red carpet at movie awards become all about looks?”

It was rumored that WhiWoHo was participating in a hunger strike in order to get the important message across. However those rumours were later squashed when it was confirmed the orphans just didn’t have any access to food in the first place.

Reese Witherspoon was contacted but unavailable for comment for this piece, due to having collapsed at the Oscars after party from lack of food, after drinking eight bottles of Chardonnay.

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