Sources for the Sauce can today exclusively reveal that News Corporation in London is reporting on the contents of Scott Morrison’s mobile phone. One of the more recent messages revealed in newspaper the Sun showed that Morrison had sent a tweet to the Republican party in America, reading “tfw no border security :/”. Texas Senator Ted Cruz has allegedly favourited the tweet and replied, “ikr atm our sth border is permeable like a homo’s rectal lining, no homo.”
After a long period of silence, the Minister for Immigration has returned to Twitter and displayed some non-conservative thinking in embracing social media and its culture as a platform from which to reach out and colonise young minds (which are legally terra nullius) with his conservative thinking. He predicts that mass, unchecked immigration will change Australia into “just some country that I used to know.”
The move to reach a broader audience comes as no surprise in the wake of the most recent criticisms of Government policy, particularly the testimony that important statistics were withheld from a report detailing the mental health of asylum seekers. What Morrison does not realise is that he should not be trying to obscure the horrible living-conditions of the detention centres, but to advertise them. It would make asylum seekers think twice about coming here. It’s not as though they face anything worse to make them flee their countries in the first place. The exception is the economic refugees, whose greed for profit is likely impossible to deter, scientists claim.
The Minister’s latest tweet reads “All this ocean and it’s Harold Holt who drowned #letsswapposeidon”