NSW Government Announces Economic Incentives to Attract Future Tornadoes to Sydney

BREAKING: The Baird Government has unveiled plans tonight to attract a range of world class natural disasters to greater Sydney following the resounding popularity of the almost-tornado over Melbourne late Thursday.

The NSW Premier Mike Baird was forced to place the entirety of Greater Sydney in a state of emergency following the weather events in Melbourne, due to public interest levels in the state of NSW dropping to levels not seen since the Melbourne Olympics of 1956. “While it is always a tragedy when Melbourne get more attention than us,” said the Premier “I know the people of Sydney are strong, and they will be able to bounce back from this tragedy with even greater stories about fluctuating house prices in weeks to come.”

Though some have accused the NSW government of simply lifting the idea of hosting a tornado from their Victorian counterparts, government representatives said that such similarities are purely coincidental. “While it may seem that our announcement today was a spur of the cuff decision, in reality this policy has been in planning for some time. In fact we originally devised the scheme in conjunction with the Abbott government, who were very receptive to our ideas about releasing 200 more gigatonnes of fossil fuels into our atmosphere in order to increase newsworthy weather events in our state.”

The NSW government’s first twister has already been slated for completion by the end of 2016, though only time will tell whether this tornado, like so many other government announcements, will turn out to be more than just hot air.