Journalists are perplexed by their inability to report properly on a recent bank robbery in Sydney. Attempts to accurately relay the events of the story have been met with muddled looks and uncertainty by journalists.
“It’s astounding. It is a complete mystery as to what happened” wrote a local newspaper. “Something invisible walked right into the bank and took $100,000 straight from the vault.”
A bank teller that was present during the robbery was interviewed regarding the mysterious disappearance of the money.
“At first I thought I saw a group of five people walk into the bank but they all shouted “I’m a bisexual!” in unison and suddenly they weren’t there anymore. It must have been a daydream.”
“I’m not sure what happened after that. The money started floating away. I think ghosts must have taken it. I can’t think of any other explanation.”
The media has spent the past few days running after even the remotest possibility of a lead on the ghost-robbery.
“We’ve interviewed lots of people who are into the paranormal and asked them about the validity of rumours of the bank being built upon an ancient burial ground or being the scene of a grisly murder-suicide where several teenagers died ten years ago but they all looked at us strangely and told us to get out of their houses,” commented a frustrated journalist who was puzzled by how his mind couldn’t process this story.
A few strange people dressed in rainbow coloured clothed have been sighted outside of the offices of several publications yelling “COME ON! THE WORD STARTS WITH B FOLLOWED BY THE LETTER I! HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE ABOUT?” Subsequently the police are now investigating Bigfoot as a suspect in the robbery.