Media Expresses Grave Fears That No Australians May Be Injured in Nepal Earthquake

Tensions are high in newsrooms across Australia this morning, following reports that a massive earthquake in Nepal may not have injured hundreds of Australians, a situation broadcasters are describing as “worrying” and “a tragedy if true”.

While the 7.8 Richter earthquake is the largest in Nepal in 80 years, and has claimed the lives of over 1800 innocent Nepalese citizens, reporters say they are seriously worried about the prospects of the story even making it through the night if a fresh injection of Australian victims can’t be provided to revive the ailing attention spans of viewers.

Not all reporters have given up hope though, with popular current affairs program A Current Affair pledging to do everything in their power to help find life in the ruins of this story. “We’re pretty certain no tourists were injured,” says host Tracy Grimshaw solemnly, “but we’re still holding out hope that we may find that someone with duel citizenship or at least relatives here in Australia who may have been killed or seriously injured during the earthquake. It’s the small flicker of hope that keeps up going.”

When questioned about why ACA had opted to continue digging on this story where other news outlets like the Sydney Morning Herald had simply plundered twitter for vague descriptions of an earthquake and moved on, Grimshaw said that for her it was a matter of journalistic integrity. “It’s our responsibility to keep searching for homegrown victims, for the sake of those poor Australian families who are turning on their TV’s, only to find they’re faced with the completely unrelatable deaths of thousands of Nepalese who’ve probably never even watched the Block, where the challenges are really heating up tonight between contestants, tune in at 7 to find out which team suffers the bathroom reno from hell!”

Authorities are urging anyone with relatives or loved ones currently in Nepal who are un-accounted for to urgently contact Seven news with details.