Martians Discover Proof That There is No Intelligent Life On Earth

Pictured Above: One giant step back for mankind

The Red Planet is today reeling from the surprise discovery that no intelligent life actually exists on Earth, despite all previous predictions to the contrary, a discovery made after NASA engineers used the multi-billion dollar Mars Rover to draw a giant penis on the Red Planet’s surface.

While initial speculation posited that this discovery of unintelligent life may have simply been a freak case, or statistical anomaly, it was later confirmed that the Earth is in fact teeming with unintelligent life, when news of the giant space penis spread far and wide across the blue planet, becoming the most shared news item for an entire week.

Whether this newfound unintelligent life poses a threat to the larger solar-system is yet to be confirmed, though Martian authorities report that they are well prepared to deal with any attempts to spread unintelligent drivel such as Fox News to the Martian surface, stating “We’ve dealt with dinosaurs before, and we can do it again.”