Lambie Defects To Create Well Hung Senate

Former Palmer United Party Deputy and large penis enthusiast Jacqui Lambie has today split with her party and former boss Clive Plamer, expressing her intention to create a well hung senate that will better suit her ideologies.

Mrs Lambie said she resigned formally earlier today, handing over her ceremonial yellow scarf and shadow Liberal Party membership. While Mrs Labie says there will be a “period of readjustment” following her resignation from the Palmer voting block, she has also said she will “enjoy the freedom that comes with not being constantly mistaken for a hi-vis construction worker.”

Clive Palmer was unavailable for comment due to a prior engagement with an all you can eat buffet

Headline credit: @PatMass