Following his disastrous appearance on Q & A, Treasurer Joe Hockey’s plan to win over the nation’s children has backfired this morning, after his appearance on Dora The Explorer ended with him being outclassed by the 5 year old adventurer and political activist.
Hockey had planned to use the appearance as a way to connect with an audience that is at a similar level of emotional maturity as him. However, it was clear that he had not accounted for Dora’s hard-hitting questioning.
“Tell us, Treasurer, where are we going to find the money to keep funding the NCRIS? Is the money in the Wobbly Forest? Are we going to have to cross the Noisy River to get to it?”, asked Dora, while pointing to a singing map.
Dora further pressed him on the issue of negative gearing, that rewards property investors for recording tax losses.
“Why haven’t we abolished these tax concessions, Treasurer? You claim that rent prices will go up, but rent is already so high on Smelly Lake! I can barely afford a pair of shoes for Boots!”
Hockey tried his best to deflect the questioning, citing his record as a political clown should prove he has the credentials to keep the children’s best interests at heart.
“I’ve spent many years looking into a camera and acting like a cartoon, Dora. You of all people should know what that’s like.”
“I am confident that the new budget will have plenty of flexibility and room to ensure that everyone’s best interests are met. Almost as much room as your backpack”.
Despite his protestations, however, Dora was unrelenting in her criticism of the plan.
“I’m sad to say, Treasurer, that the latest budget has us all feeling very azul. That means ‘blue’ in Spanish”
Ultimately, Dora left her harshest criticism for the very end.
“We appreciate you coming on here, Treasurer, but please, stop swiping our money and our services for your own gain. Seriously, NO SWIPING!”