Joe Hockey Refuses to Raise Yearly Minimum Wage To The Cost of A Lunch With Him

Joe Hockey has today ruled out the possibility of raising the minimum yearly payrate for full-time workers to match the cost of a powerlunch with the national Treasurer. “We all have to tighten our belts, even those on the lowest payrates,” said Hockey at a press conference this morning, “and the only way our poorest can manage to tighten their belts any further is by ensuring they don’t have enough money to buy any lunch, let alone one with me. I mean seriously, have you seen my waistline? There’s no belt tightening going on around here. In fact I had to add a few notches the other day. That’s the price of all these $50,000 lunches I guess.”