abbott

Entire Abbott Tenure Revealed To Be Viral Marketing For Fallout 4

In a stunning turn of events, the Abbott Government has revealed that the entirety of it’s 2 years in charge of the country have been an elaborate viral marketing campaign to promote the new video game, Fallout 4.

The highly anticipated video game, announced last night by publisher Bethesda, has been the driving force behind many of the decisions made by the Liberal Government over the last 22 months, it was revealed at a press conference held inside one of Joe Hockey’s mansions.

“Whether it’s the torture we’ve been doing on Manus Island, or pushing everyone to the verge of homelessness with the skyrocketing housing prices, or even just eating raw onions, everything we have done over the past two years has been to get people prepared and excited about playing a game set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland”, said Mr. Abbott.

“A lot of the decisions we have made as an administration, such as legalizing the collection of everyone’s metadata or removing any judicial process or evidence requirements when it comes to someone we accuse of terrorism, we have made so that people become used to living in a crazy and heartless world where no one is safe from the cruel hand of the Governme-, er, I mean Enclave.”

“We’re really hoping that when people play the game, they say ‘Oh. This is just like my real life’”.

Abbott insisted that the marketing campaign was not deceitful, stating that taking part in Bethesda’s viral ad is “just another example of the Abbott government going above and beyond to support business, just like we’ve done for News Corp, onion farmers, and people smugglers in recent months”

“Let’s be honest, most of my decisions in office HAD to be related to an upcoming video game about a world destroyed by nuclear fallout. They don’t make any sense otherwise. That would mean I’m just a greedy and insane human being. And if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s greedy”.

Abbott is looking forward to the release of the game, and hopes that he can continue to generate excitement and buzz for the franchise in the future.

“I hope that I can continue on in this role past the launch of the game. I have so many more ideas of how to systematically undermine decent society, and I really feel people will enjoy the stuff I have planned for Fallout 5”.

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2 Responses

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  1. John
    Jun 17, 2015 - 12:05 PM

    Living in a golden age of satire. Wonderful!

    Reply
  2. jianfei
    Jun 19, 2015 - 03:40 AM

    yes! what a marvelous year its been for the government. Must be all that flouride that the government is pouring into our water supply out of geelong industrial waste thats making all of us dumber… every month it seems the government is tightening its neck tie on aussies.. are we so stupid not to do anything and all governments do that? you bet ya.. we are dumb as dog shit but we dont care, because we have a high quality of life and the property market is focused on the chinese buyers, not the aussie battlers.. try bidding for a house and watch a chinese throw 1.5 million cash while we sit and suffer. suddenly the government has a new coal industry.. its called real estate.. let there be more taxes and although we need your coins china, thou shall be taxified, while aussie hard working dreamers cant even afford to buy a unit! well done Australia.. its time to migrate and marry a swiss girl, apparently vegetables are cheaper there!

    Reply

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