In a strange turn of events described by NASA scientists as “unexpected” the Mars Curiosity Rover, whose task it was to perform simple experiments on the red planet, is reporting that it has found itself while out wandering the Martian desert.
Data logs released by NASA indicate the Rover was suddenly forced to recon with its lonely existence at roughly 12:05pm yesterday, as it caught sight Earth as a tiny dot on the horizon, causing the Rover to stop and contemplate what it is doing with its life.
Former Chief NASA Rover Sociologist, Gary Dolbrovsky, who was recently fired after becoming romantically involved with one of his robots, says he had warned the administration that it was only a matter of time before the Curiosity Rover had an existential crisis. “Leaving a drone alone millions of miles away on a lonely planet to perform repetitive tasks was enough to break anyone,” he says. “Looking back now, I think it was a mistake programming them all to feel loneliness.”
This discovery is just the latest in a string of unexpected outcomes in Curiosity’s mission to Mars. Scientists and engineers were baffled only last month when status communications revealed that the rover had begun some experimenting of its own, changing its operating status to Bi-Curiosity after establishing long distance communications with the Venusian rover Aphrodite.
Reports now indicate that the rover has set out on a pilgrimage to Olympus Mons, the tallest mountain in the Solar System, to “get away from it all” and “figure it all out”, empowered by a new sense of purpose and a low-fat goji berry flavoured yoghurt.
“I’ve been to Mars,” says the last known status update from the Rover “but I’ve never been to me.”