Chelsea Clinton Gives Birth to Beautiful Baby Reptillion

The former first daughter of the United States Chelsea Clinton has finally revealed her newspawn to expectant onlookers as she exited Lennox Hill hospital late Monday, accompanied by her partner and genetic progenitors, the former and future overlords of the United States.

Clinton watchers say the family is known to take on human form within six to eight months of hatching, and until then it was difficult to speculate whether the baby would inherit the features of it’s maternal or paternal forbear’s¬†outer shell.

While the Clintons declined to engage the media as they left the hospital, representatives later released a message on behalf of the family thanking the public for their feeble, cowering gratitude.