Bronwyn Bishop Claims $1500 to Attend Opening of Champagne Bottle

Federal Speaker Bronwyn “No Not Julie” Bishop has been hit with more questions about her entitlements claims today, after it was revealed the parliamentary member for Versailles claimed over $1500 worth of travel entitlements last December in order to officiate over the opening of a limousine door.

While on face value the amount seems un-necessary for a parliamentarian who has previously called for greater austerity, a spokesman for Mrs Bishop said the expense was not unreasonable given that Mrs Bishop was only using the limousine to attend the opening of a bottle of 1952 Moet Champaign in her official capacity as Speaker.

The spokesman also pointed out the Mrs Bishop was actually being quite frugal in her choice of a limousine, saving the taxpayers thousands of dollars by eschewing her preferred mode of transport, the B-22 Helicopter, which she instead only used to cover the distance between her front door and the waiting limousine.

Mrs Bishop was placed on probation by the Prime Minister earlier this week following the revelation that she had spent half the country’s GDP on travel entitlements during her time in office. However this punishment turned out to be a poor choice by the Prime Minister, who had apparently forgotten that those on probation are not able to drive after 11pm, which will no doubt greatly increase Bronwyn’s use of expensive cab rides.

Mrs Bishop has previously stated that while she would like to use public transport to attend events, she is unable to rely on buses and trains due to the severe under-funding in transport infrastructure in this country.

“We’d all love to be able to rely on buses for work but the fact is that’s just unrealistic, they’re never on time,” said Mrs Bishop in an accent somehow more English than the Queen’s. “If we were to improve public transport the government would have to find millions of dollars to do so, and I can’t think of a single area of government spending that could be reduced to fund such lavish and expensive upgrades.”