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Breaking News: Tony Abbott Says/Does Shocking Thing

The Prime Minister was met with an immediate and vocal backlash today following comments and/or actions that shocked the public, and left many questioning his apparent complete lack of judgement and foresight about not doing and saying awful things.

Reports are emerging from within the Liberal Party that indicate many of the Prime Minister’s own colleagues are becoming worried about the seemingly endless tirade of ill judged actions and comments. “I love Nazi allegories, raw onions and knighting royalty as much as the next man,” said one anonymous source within the party, “but even I think the Prime Minister went too far this time, and I once said the poor don’t drive cars for Christ’s sake!”

The Prime Minister has already attempted to make amends by offering a full retraction, explaining he was misconstrued and that the real problem is Labor’s deeply offensive carbon-tax, but many who were directly affected by the Prime Minister’s actions say they are still shocked by what was said and/or done and a little confused by the carbon tax reference.

Some have come to the conclusion that the string of increasingly bizarre acts by the Prime Minister must be part of a secret and very well disguised plan which we are all simply too slow-witted to understand. “He has to be going somewhere with this,” said an increasingly bemused Laurie Oaks, “nobody could be that poor at public relations and still have made it to the role of Prime Minister, surely.”

Liberal frontbencher and sole remaining Abbott supporter Christopher Pyne holds a similar view, declaring his belief that the Prime Minister must simply be playing the long con with the electorate. “You just wait,” smugged Pyne, “next election he’ll have us all thinking he’s going to lose, but then at the last minute I’m willing to bet he reveals the drawing’s actually upside down and … wait no I’m thinking of Mr Squiggle. Look it’s that or he bought shares in the Shovel before taking office. My money’s on the Mr Squiggle one, him being from another planet sure would explain a lot.”

However, according to twitter media enthusiast @rupertMurdoch, Prime Ministerial aid and woman Peta Credlin may be responsible for some or probably all of the blame, with a recently leaked staff memo making the rounds of the internet listing “Things for Tony to do this week to make people forget that budget.” However, Ms Credlin has denied these claims, saying that it was simply one of many considered policies that were scrapped after it was discovered Tony could place his foot in his mouth without any need for help from his staff.

The Sauce opted to not reach out for comment from the Prime Minister in relation to this article, for fear of him saying/doing something shocking.

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