Zaky Mallah on QandA

ABC accused of bias for airing all sides of debate

The ABC has today apologized for airing the opinion of someone who disagrees with a government policy, stating it had in no way been the intention of their Q&A programme to offer a platform for the public to question government policy.

According to reports by those that tuned into the weekly state sanctioned discussion, producers had shockingly allowed Zaky Mallah – a man known to dislike the Coalition government – to ask a question and express his opinion on the show. Mr. Mallah proceeded to make outrageous comments which were critical about the government’s plan to banish Australians without a fair trial, offending many panelists by suggesting that replacing the entire court system with a single minister might not be a good idea.

Liberal panel member Steve Ciobo was quick to shoot down claims by Mr Mallah that the government was destroying the fundamental pillars of the law with their actions, stating “Based on things Mr Mallah has said in the past I would not hesitate one second in revoking his citizenship.” When asked if punishing people for things they say meant his party were also against the right to free speech, Mr Ciobo cited his right to remain silent, forgetting the government had already revoked it back in 2013 as well.

Minister Malcom Turnbull has lashed out at the ABC following the broadcast, stating “The ABC made a grave error of judgment by allowing someone who has experience of Australia’s terror laws into a discussion about terror laws.” Growing distressed at the thought, Turnbull added “Innocent viewers might have been tricked into thinking that his opinion was valid and legitimate”, as a single tear dropped from his cheek, ruining his leather jacket.

Mr Turnbull emphasized that the ABC is an independent news outlet which should not be censored by the government for what it had broadcast. He then immediately outlined plans to make unrelated cuts to the ABC’s funding. Speaking to The Sauce he explained, “This government supports an independent public broadcaster. However the government should not be funding programs which include opinions that are contrary to the government’s opinions.”

When asked how the ABC will cope with further cuts to funding, Treasurer Joe Hockey suggested that the ABC investigate auxiliary forms of revenue such as lawn bowls ball manufacturing, where their left bias will be more appreciated.

The editors would like to note that an earlier erroneous mistake in this article has now been rectified, and we strongly apologize for implying that the former member of One Direction was in any way associated with the extremist political cult Q&A.

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