Tony Abbott has announced the launch of a new multi-million dollar taxpayer-funded advertisement campaign today, which will be geared towards convincing the taxpayer that the Government doesn’t have enough money.
In a move praised by conservatives as “redundant”, Abbott outlined how the new campaign will use large amounts of taxpayer money to help people understand the financial strains on the Government in this economic climate.
Speaking at a party meeting held in Christopher Pyne’s mother’s basement, supposedly to outline how tight the budget is but in reality because she makes excellent mince pies, Abbott detailed the motivation behind the new scheme.
“It’s simple.” said the Prime Minister, with the smug satisfaction of a man who believes his own bullshit logic “We don’t have enough money, especially with all these expensive ad campaigns we’re running. So we thought, why don’t we show people how we need more of their money, by convincing them to spend more money on useless things like education, but which can enable us to really invest in areas that matter, like more ad campaigns.”
Critics of the Coalition government have denounced the campaign as “farcical” and “a waste of time and money and detrimental to the future of the country”, though as Mr. Abbott was quick to point out, not one of the critiques mentioned how good Mrs. Pyne’s mince pies are.
“Obviously, my critics have an agenda. They keep harping on about how I have ‘low approval ratings’ and how I’m ‘spending the people’s money to lie to their faces’, but they never give credit where it’s due, like when I suggested we head to Pyney’s for pies”.
“Frankly, it’s an outrage. In fact, I’m going to tell everyone about how outrageous it is using an ad campaign!”