Abbott Plans to Contest LNP Leadership in 2016

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has announced his plans to re-contest for the leadership of the LNP in 2016, after Malcolm Turnbull today announced his plan to contest for the leadership of the LNP.

It is widely believed that Turnbull will be calling for a vote on party leadership in the coming days, and it is even more widely believed that Abbott will lose this vote. Political analysts attribute this to the general consensus within the party, and the country, that Turnbull is a slightly less shitty human being.

However, Mr. Abbott has made it clear that he intends to challenge for the position that he once held, and also, still holds.

“I find it utterly despicable that Turny would want to challenge me for the leadership of my own party. It is a divisive and frankly embarrassing move on the part of an Australian MP. I wholly intend to do it in 2016”.

“It’s clear in the minus two days that Malcolm has been in charge that the country is headed down the wrong path. I intend to put it on the correct course into the future, or indeed, the past, where everything was better anyway”.

“If there’s one thing I have learned as an Australian politician, and believe me, there really is only one thing – it’s how to challenge my party for leadership”